Slice of Life: Status Updates

Normally I don't post statuses on social networks but if I did this is what it would have looked like for today:

     2:54 a.m.  If I die in the night, my tombstone should read, "death by  
                    dog fart." Rudely awoken by 'Bison Butt'

     10:54 a.m.  Ten hours, quite a few curse words and the occasional
                      bird later...finally finished all those sign language quizzes.

     11:15 a.m.  "Tempest no typing": cddddddddddddddddddsdf

     11:28 a.m.  CRAP!! Forgot school is getting out early. Time to get
                     ready to go pick up the little bro.

     12:47 p.m.  Who takes a two hour lunch?!? Waiting to get my taxes
                      done.

     1:16 p.m.  DALTON!! HOW DOES THIS NEW EXCEL WORK!!

     2:39 p.m.  It's nice to get money from the government for a change.
                     Taxes are done!

     2:45 p.m.  Dear FSHN 405, please do yourself because I have no
                     idea what I'm suppose to do.

     4:47 p.m.  Such a beautiful day for a dog walk...too bad the battery
                    never made it to the charger, grrr.

     6:06 p.m. Nothing is better than a Polashek's Bratwurst.

     8:22 p.m.  I'm slowly losing my mind. Done with FSHN 405 for the
                     night!! Time to write a blog post...