March 4, 2012

Slice of Life Challenge: Failing in Order to Succeed

Note: This is a continuation from yesterday's post. For a long time, I was ashamed of this story but not anymore. I feel that it is an important slice to share and hope that it will help others that have/will go through the same thing.

I don't care what you think or what people may tell you, college is no easy adjustment. Like a lot of people I came in with the wrong mindset, thinking that high school and the college classes I've already taken were easy for me, then the next four years will be too. WRONG!! 

I went from a small sized high school, where the largest classroom had roughly twenty-five students (give-or-take), to a state university with at least two-hundred people in my lecture hall. In that type of setting it's easy for a person to get lost in the crowd. Plus, this was the first time I had taken a course entirely online where I was in charge of my own learning. Like I said, quite the adjustment.

The first couple weeks weren't so bad, mostly because what we were discussing was review. But once the new material started, woo doggies was I in trouble...especially in those online courses. As the semester went on my grades just kept falling, I didn't know what to do. Most of my school life before I had gotten A's & B's, but by midterm I was sporting two D's and a C-. 

By the end of the semester I had two B's, two F's and a D, giving me a GPA of 1.4 (not my proudest moment). I remember the day I found out, I woke-up at five o'clock in the morning to check. As the page loaded I hoped, prayed and pleaded but obviously with no such luck. I was extremely disappointed in myself and internalized everything (just what I do) so my parents wouldn't find out. However, you can never hide anything from Mom. 

A few days had gone past, by this time I was pretty much living in my room, only leaving if absolutely necessary. My mother had came home from work early and barged in my room, slamming a piece of paper with my grades on the desk yelling, "WHAT IS THIS?!?!"

I couldn't form any words and just began to sob. I had let myself down and most of all my family. When I finally gained back some control, I told her everything: how I lost track of due dates, the material got over my head and I couldn't find my way back up, how my homesickness affected me and how I didn't manage my time well. 

This is where I have to give credit to my paremts, instead of yelling and punishing me (thinking I was doing it well enough to myself) they were there asking why didn't I ask for help right away and what I/they could do to improve next semester's grades. They listened to me criticize myself and talked me out of quitting by reminding me I had come this far and that I was not the first (nor the last) to be going through this. 

With each succeeding semester I improved little by little, so much so that the last four semesters I have made the Dean's List. What I'm trying to say is if you are currently in college or plan on going to college, know that you will eventually find your stride if you keep trying. And if you do have problems, tell somebody (don't keep it in like I did). As the old saying goes, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

13 comments:

  1. Oh, you just brought me back to my first year of college. Like you, I had come from a small High School and entered into a University with TONS of kids in an even bigger lecture hall. I was a science major who had a true passion for my major. I studied my tail off but started to drown in the work and studying. Grades slipped and I began to beat myself up. College is not a piece of cake...it's hard work. Thank you for sharing your story and keep on try, trying again. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good for you! I, too, remember that huge transition to college. I was in a very small high school, and thought a big university was the "right" call for me. Nope.

    While my grades didn't suffer, I often wonder if that is because I didn't allow myself to take those hard classes. Good for you for challenging yourself and working through it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so proud of you for not giving up and going on to make the Dean's List. My motto has always been "C's get degrees" and it started in my freshmen year of college. You are so right--college is NOT easy and anyone who says it is, is lying to themselves!

    ReplyDelete
  4. A lot of great life lessons packed into that small page. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It took courage to share this, but what an important lesson for parents and students alike. You stuck with it and your parents guided you (and had faith in you). I was especially moved by this passage:
    "I couldn't form any words and just began to sob. I had let myself down and most of all my family. When I finally gained back some control, I told her everything: how I lost track of due dates, the material got over my head and I couldn't find my way back up, how my homesickness affected me and how I didn't manage my time well."
    That's the story for so many freshman - it says a lot for the relationship you have with your parents that you were able to share that at that particular moment.

    ReplyDelete
  6. First semester, first year sometimes, is so full of life lessons. I was jolted into the "real world" place as I lacked real comprehension strategies. I was an excellent de- coder, with strong fluency, from which I received good grades and compliments. Yet, I only knew to re-read , which I did so much of with college biology and chemistry texts. It took failing several exams to realize that I needed support.
    I share this experience with my students as often as I can.
    Live and Learn is what I truly believe.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I was intrigued by your title, Failing in Order to Succeed. I have noticed some school signs with this message, Failure Is Not An Option. I know this message is also a title of a book that many have read and there are workshops with this same title. I have not checked out this book so I know next to nothing about it. The title though is bothering me when I see it on school signs. Don't we learn from our failures? Doesn't failure pave the road to success? Isn't the message, keep trying (like you expressed,the message we want to send. So glad you are able to tell this story now...so full of real life.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You have some wonderful parents. They didn't judge or reprimand. Instead, they questioned and encouraged you. Congrats on making Dean's List. What an incredible accomplishment and testament to your spirit!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I need to remember your story when my son starts college in the fall. Have a feeling we will have many similar stories!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you for sharing this personal moment. I truly believe these moments in our lives teach us so much about ourselves.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank for sharing something so personal.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Good for you! Thank you for sharing those early failures. It takes courage to keep going--how awesome that you have! I love Deb Day's motto "C's get degrees" there is no shame in hard work and honesty. You have both in spades.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow! What an accomplishment! You should be so proud of yourself. Thanks for sharing your inspiring story with us!

    ReplyDelete